We’ve all been there, you’ve seen a car you like, but then you read the advert and it all goes downhill from there.
Here are my biggest listing turn-offs:
I don’t mind the odd typo but when a classified listing is written like a teenagers whatsapp message I’m buying elsewhere.
With decent quality cameras on every smartphone there really is no excuse for these. But some how you’ve found that one seller who’s used a 10 year old Nokia to deliver you a pixelated pastiche of what a car might look like rendered in Minecraft.
Oh look there’s his dog/children/wife in the front seat which he’s keen to remind us are not included in the sale. Yet to master even MS paint, he’s also gaffer taped a rag over the number plate and is that his thumb or a giant pink dent?
“X is broken, easy fix”
It’s usually something small yet annoying, a piece of trim or a sticking boot release. Often the seller has the part and drops the classic line, “Will fix if I have time”. Yet there never seems to be time…
“Will MOT if sellsfor X”
How about you MOT it before and not leave me with the lingering doubt that you know a guy who passes any old lemon.
“Could use a good clean”
Seriously, you couldn’t be bothered to clean it? What else couldn’t you be bothered to do, check the oil and coolant, keep up with regular service intervals?
The V5 is in the post, the MOT is lost but expires in April they think, no service history but it was dealer maintained by the previous owner…
“Selling on behalf of…”
Maybe it’s Grandads but he can’t use the internet or the neighbour who’s suddenly emigrated down-under. Either way you find yourself with a seller who can’t answer your question about whether the cambelt’s been done and what that funky smell in the boot is.
Location, Location, Location
You’ve found the one and bingo its just 10 miles away on the search. That’s until you read that’s its actually in a Morrison’s carpark in Kidderminster. But hey at least you can view it anytime you want, right?
Demands in capitals
NO TIME WASTERS!
BUYER MUST PAY FULL CASH PRICE IMMEDIATELY!
Way to go if you want to sound like an unreasonable person I don’t want to purchase from.
“No test pilots!”
Often uttered in the listing for a 98 Honda Civic with no sense of irony.